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The solo outro at the end of this "mystic number" feel pretty right on.
I have always yearned for mystical experiences.
But, joy has always been pretty elusive for me. I'm not a dour person by any stretch, but I have felt there were parts of my spirit that were cauterized by "bad religion, as a youth.

But as far as "Mystical" experiences go?
I'd like to have them. But, i think it might just be me being lazt and wanting something to replace faith and trust.
At my worst? I seem to fall back on is something akin to a raw
"I hope this has a happy ending" sorta faith. It's too dogged, perhaps.
It's odd. It doesn't feel like it's coming from within. It feels like Something else becoming real via glimpses. I hope i'm not kidding myself.
Sure, it could be something I'm conjuring, something I'm making up.
But, (no humor intended here) I doubt it.

Mostly what I've found is a deep existential sadness. Those who know my work, will hear vestiges of it in everything I've ever done...
A sadness and grieving within myself & in what appears to be a fallen world, a world that finds itself in increasing turmoil; prone to death and violence.

As Abraham Lincoln said: Here's to cultivating the "better angels of our natures."

lyrics

MESMERIZED words & music by bill mallonee
BMI 2016
published by ""Once More, This Time with Feeling" music

Well, it went by so quickly;
It went by pretty fast
Not altogether present
When the Glory, it went past
Not because i wasn't there;
And not because i wasn't on the scene
mostly because i wasn't healed...
you know what i mean...

Now i'm lost beneath your whisper
Darlin,' i'm lost inside your eyes
Found deep within the wonder
Mesmerized

me? well, i got lucky
i got my chance to shine
i got to do my dying
one breath at a time
not by any merit of my own
and not because my dreams
were any more than common
you know what i mean

Now, history hurries past
at least it does seem so
I was dressed in rags of absence
for most of that Grand show
But one day i hope to wake up
in a skin i've never seen
Eternal dawn & Gloaming
you know what I mean...

credits

from The Rags of Absence 2017, released January 2, 2017
Bill Mallonee: vocals, harmonies, electric & acoustic guitars, lap steel, resonator guitars, high-string guitars, bass, drums, harmonica, loops

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Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 80 plus albums over a 30 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "Lead On, Kindly Light" is a 23song double Cd released Feb 2020. ... more

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