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My Year in Review (Rarities & Outtakes)

by Bill Mallonee and Vigilantes of Love

/
1.
well am i defecting well i don't know fell under the spell yeah of tokyo rose all those hot nights in the jungle with the rockets red glare i heard all of those bombs yeah they were everywhere come and check out my condition honey i'm in love with your transmission i waited up for you every night i hear your voice and my jungle's bright i once bought a magic marker the kind with permanent ink i wrote down all my bad thoughts i've got 'em all i think in every bathroom stall on every vacant wall highly classified information yeah i exposed it all everybody wants to be unopposed we leave the straight and narrow for the lowest of roads we all need somebody to lie to us i suppose that's why everybody needs yeah a tokyo rose
2.
VET (live) 04:14
standing in front of the black wall with lots of names carved in trying to make a little bit of sense of it all where do i begin most of us shared so much never ever having met it's too much to remember how could i forget past is always present present is no friend afraid of what lies underneath scratch below my skin taking inventory at the surplus store lines up in the cross hairs outside my front door ah take me down saigon river ah take me down to the china sea put myself unreservedly in the stars and stripes forever i got a little cauterized brain and a heart shot off at the knees if you got a good home to go to it's cool i guess i'll say homeward bound and we touched down there at the jfk i'd liked to forget that moment there's the curse of video tape screaming and all the clenched fists spit rolling down my face late at night tv's on the kids are off to bed under the haze of the cathode ray step out of the cargo bay women and children take them out first the whole thing feels so hopeless smile or a handshake and lookout baby here comes the plastic explosive
3.
it's time to get the lash it's time to get the rope sharpen the razor grab the microscope it won't be pretty when they cut the tether sometimes you lose your address to find your shelter why is joy something i must steal starving skeletons looking for a meal out in the graveyard the church bells peal earth has no sorrow heaven can't heal i bought a crap detector it emptied all my savings it's got a hair trigger feel for the slightest provocation not there to spill blood or judge out of line it's just a modern convenience to save you some time johnny says to sarah as he takes her by the hand "i hear angels 'cross that river in beulahland" the waters are cold and they're deep my friend i'm going down down down and coming up again i'm checking my closets since i don't know when surely life is more than learning how to live with your skeletons wind swing low whisper in my ears wind swing low dry these tears
4.
all those nice little things you say oh i really appreciate them too all those kind little things you say keep those cards and letters coming too i spend a whole lot of time with my reconnaissance photographs irrefutable evidence never pleads on my behalf though they're not well developed my mind's eye sees them true all these little failures of my year in review there's a photographic essay and you know cameras they never lie little slips on little tongues and my stinking alibis let them stay unembellished let them say what will say they need no running commentary 'tween the pages of my days though they're not well developed they should tell the naked truth all these little failures of my year in review check my passport and credentials you see i come from a long lineage but down here in the darkroom you can manipulate the image yeah my snapshot emotions and the rough footage of my panic i'm a poor composition with a flair for the dramatic and i don't show them often oh you know what that might do all these little failures of my year in review
5.
well sledgehammer jackhammer rocking it to my brain i been looking for a rescue in the magazines and thorazine i called in sick today i'm looking for a rescue darkness closing in make no mistake i can take my medicine but sometimes it don't take when you're looking for a rescue i'm jumping in but where do i begin when it's cold and lonely here in the deep end i've been staring at the ceiling i've been staring at the floor i'm looking for a rescue i'm a million time loser but who's keeping score i'm looking for a rescue up and wash my face water down the drain everything's extended metaphors or completely mundane when you're looking for a rescue dj play the record without picking up the phone i'm looking for a rescue and the man on the screen is sending messages to my home i'm looking for a rescue that man on the screen i know he's a liar i got this natural-born talent but who's gonna hire someone looking for a rescue
6.
turn down the light placate the drunk kill the telephone i don't wanna sit this one out and have you rape me later on now ladies and gentlemen i used to be a notorious killer and then i became the world's greatest dancer always asking what the truth was and never waiting for an answer now it's the clay inside this heart of stone and the concrete in my head i know there's a fine line between the living and the dead and i used to go to slasher films and leave feeling pretty free it's really quite cathartic to see yourself up on the screen and i've been driving the nails firmly in your tree you've been talking to your Father on behalf of me nothing at these check points i care to defend so why do i raise the hammer up and drive the nails again now in the graveyard of my secrets there's a hope buried beneath all this talk of peace and righteousness has left me weary beyond belief and there's an unwanted mistress in my bed late at night she say "i know you're a criminal you been on death row all your life" turn out the lights and reconnect the phones fill the drunk's glass to the brink i'm ready for penetration honey but it's not what you think you gotta fill this stinking shell of false humanity fill it up with bullet holes from your firing squad of mercy
7.
i have a photograph detailing the matter quite a formidable pair they were full of grace and swagger those smiles are disarming it's like a drowning sensation their hands full of each other's highly classified information Berlin in '53 a young lieutenant i admire he took his young bride up in his arms they set the whole city on fire on fire it was saved from distraction on fire indeed with their love and passion he covered her with kisses he adorned her with praise she took him unto herself they set the whole city ablaze tear down those walls when she walked by in that dress melt all the stone hearts melt the machine gun nests and let freedom ring in that bloc to the east those two got a weapon they will soon unleash well the devil he roams the big machines they rust kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall trampled in the dust i saw it in that photograph they haven't stopped it yet whatever Romeo whispered to his sweet Juliet
8.
man at the crossroads with a voice of anticipation he's playing elmore james and reciting lamentations i am one i am two to whom the stroke was due up here in this tower for forty-eight hours without food or drink or water maybe i oughta try to remind yourself to tell yourself it doesn't really matter why are my lips so blue my pulse ever getting shallow didn't hurt whatever do you mean didn't feel a thing know i know i could hear it if the truth be told ya'll step right up and pop the trip wire soul my bolt action my dissatisfaction
9.
gather up these weary bones another day to muster yeah twisted wreckage spent held in strictest confidence lamp burning in the sitting room empty house pouring salt in my wounds close the door and throw the bolt and await the results there's a certain slant of light and the hope that's in your eyes and i hardly realize as i slip beneath those waves yeah this rain seems to last and last heavy heart yearning gray sky overcast in this womb for a while i collapse like a small child let the doubts all perish at sea you've got to learn to dream all over again how long it's hard to tell in the belly of your whale tell me your deep dark secret yeah and i will tell you mine oh is that your deep dark secret oh well never mind
10.
Postscript 03:50
i did this as a matter of principle i did this if the truth be told i did this as a way of serving notice i did this to regain control there is a window behind these wounds i see the heart of God You got your arms stretched out and the nails go in there is a field where the burdened find rest the lovers learn to taste You got your arms stretched out and the warmed embrace i don't succumb to the heat of the moment where the raw nerve of emotions hangs loose i understand the sacrifices made on my behalf if you understand i have done the same for you out in the field where the burdened find rest the lovers learn to taste You got your arms stretched out oh and the chains fall away
11.
today i'm sick of all i am today is my setback first i say i love you i stab you in the back wanna drink out of that fountain on a hill called double cure show you my allegiance Lord i wanna be a son of Yours i'm tired of all my toys they never last for long they're beaming dreams and wishes to a big dish on my lawn i bet you've got a story you've been aching to tell i bet you've thrown some coinage down the wishing well go and call your neighbor there is no time to waste get your wife and family proceed with all due haste you ask me why i love Him He gave riches to the poor i will one day see that face over yonder shore
12.
so i'm at this wheel it's three am waiting for the caffeine to come around and life rears it's ugly head again they say your radio's cool and retail's way down and i'd like to say i'm faithful to the task at hand speaking gospel to a handful and others with their list of demands it's cold this year and i'm late on my dues it's cold in here ah but that's nothing new my heart's electric with your love again so it's on to bethlehem you might surmise that i ran there but i really only crept lead me to the place where love runs wild and then it dogs your every step you know how fickle my heart is prone to wonder my Lord yeah we talk but it's at arms length always got one eye on the door God wraps Himself up in human skin for those who want to touch and God let them drive the nails in for those of us who know way too much You come bearing all our burdens and take Your lovers for a ride but we stay holed up in our cages fashioned by our own design so tell me what is your secret what's on your blister soul what is that one little secret you know the one that has taken its toll 'cause daddy's banging on your gate again yeah he won't leave you alone got a whole lot of dry warm rooms and the finest of homes
13.
well some things are plain to clear eyes some gifts go completely unrecognized we're shackled to hate bounded by fear straining to see my face in the mirror yeah i once knew a man who left town on the run he went looking for joy but joy didn't come so let Your name with praise be adorned sing angel choirs for Jesus is born yeah i'm picking through pieces of yesterday's boasting hold them up to the light and examine them closely a love is a field that the weeds have grown up in my earth is all scorched with my wreckage and ruin yeah the cup is tarnished but the wine is true only the finest two hundred proof so let Your name with praise be adorned sing angel choirs for Jesus is born holy Mary meek and mild full of the Spirit full with Child stumble around through the message each year so open these eyes open these ears
14.
the leaves are changing for quite some time as we headed south thirty five some unfinished business left to do stepping stone up we're further away from you there's been talk on the telephone about these bleeding parts of mine they say your radio is pretty good this year but your retail's not worth a dime where my seed might find purchase where my seed might find purchase tonight these hollow bodies been thrown into the path stun gun electricity the bleeding fingers strumming hacks my tubes they are a rattling the wind among dead leaves and my amps well they're howling for nobody else but me yeah slipping under beneath the haze john barleycorn too often generally i am the one most inclined to drive the nails into their respective coffins distortion factor's kicking in a thousand miles from home and tonight my speakers are breaking up too much with a beauty all of their own could your bloodstream ever withstand the poison born of bitterness and vices you must learn to live thankful to the Lord or be left to your own devices yeah we're out here on these paths again speaking our peace throwing caution to the wind there's a warm dry room you can sleep in caught out in the open
15.
fare you well my noble grace there are places we have been milestones on this path we walk you were my constant friend and i was busy chasing shadows when you slipped beneath waves now i'm drownin' here in my regret and all i left unsaid who knows what proper judgment befalls these sin-sick hearts weary and seeking comfort or a candle in the dark you were bleeding with some burden you would not give away now i'm drownin' here in my regret of all i left unsaid now words they could be prayers or some melodious song words they are empty buildings that we all hide among are promises just good intentions dreams that we wished we had made castles yes but those made of sand and all we left unsaid rumors rumors yes i've heard them all around this town what is come from heaven cannot stay in the ground and so i hang onto for dear life the words the young girl said i'm beginning to hear whispers of all we left unsaid

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Rarities, outtakes, and nice "live" material at C-stone fest, as well!

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released June 1, 2002

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Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 80 plus albums over a 30 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "Lead On, Kindly Light" is a 23song double Cd released Feb 2020.
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