My Year in Review (Rarities & Outtakes)

by Bill Mallonee and Vigilantes of Love



Rarities, outtakes, and nice "live" material at C-stone fest, as well!


released June 1, 2002




all rights reserved


Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 75 plus albums over a 25 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "The Rags of Absence" released in Jan. 2017.
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Track Name: Tokyo Rose (live)
well am i defecting
well i don't know
fell under the spell
yeah of tokyo rose
all those hot nights in the jungle
with the rockets red glare
i heard all of those bombs
yeah they were everywhere

come and check out my condition
honey i'm in love with your transmission
i waited up for you every night
i hear your voice and my jungle's bright

i once bought a magic marker
the kind with permanent ink
i wrote down all my bad thoughts
i've got 'em all i think
in every bathroom stall
on every vacant wall
highly classified information
yeah i exposed it all

everybody wants
to be unopposed
we leave the straight and narrow
for the lowest of roads
we all need somebody
to lie to us i suppose
that's why everybody needs
yeah a tokyo rose
Track Name: VET (live)
standing in front of the black wall
with lots of names carved in
trying to make a little bit of sense of it all
where do i begin
most of us shared so much
never ever having met
it's too much to remember
how could i forget

past is always present
present is no friend
afraid of what lies underneath
scratch below my skin
taking inventory
at the surplus store
lines up in the cross hairs
outside my front door

ah take me down saigon river
ah take me down to the china sea
put myself unreservedly
in the stars and stripes forever
i got a little cauterized brain and a heart
shot off at the knees

if you got a good home to go to
it's cool i guess i'll say
homeward bound and we touched down
there at the jfk
i'd liked to forget that moment
there's the curse of video tape
screaming and all the clenched fists
spit rolling down my face

late at night tv's on
the kids are off to bed
under the haze of the cathode ray
step out of the cargo bay
women and children take them out first
the whole thing feels so hopeless
smile or a handshake and lookout baby
here comes the plastic explosive
Track Name: Earth Has No sorrow (live)
it's time to get the lash it's time to get the rope
sharpen the razor grab the microscope
it won't be pretty when they cut the tether
sometimes you lose your address to find your shelter

why is joy something i must steal
starving skeletons looking for a meal
out in the graveyard the church bells peal
earth has no sorrow heaven can't heal

i bought a crap detector it emptied all my savings
it's got a hair trigger feel for the slightest provocation
not there to spill blood or judge out of line
it's just a modern convenience to save you some time

johnny says to sarah as he takes her by the hand
"i hear angels 'cross that river in beulahland"
the waters are cold and they're deep my friend
i'm going down down down and coming up again

i'm checking my closets since i don't know when
surely life is more than learning how to live with your skeletons
wind swing low whisper in my ears
wind swing low dry these tears
Track Name: My Year in Review
all those nice little things you say
oh i really appreciate them too
all those kind little things you say
keep those cards and letters coming too

i spend a whole lot of time
with my reconnaissance photographs
irrefutable evidence
never pleads on my behalf

though they're not well developed
my mind's eye sees them true
all these little failures
of my year in review

there's a photographic essay
and you know cameras they never lie
little slips on little tongues
and my stinking alibis

let them stay unembellished
let them say what will say
they need no running commentary
'tween the pages of my days

though they're not well developed
they should tell the naked truth
all these little failures
of my year in review

check my passport and credentials
you see i come from a long lineage
but down here in the darkroom
you can manipulate the image

yeah my snapshot emotions
and the rough footage of my panic
i'm a poor composition
with a flair for the dramatic

and i don't show them often
oh you know what that might do
all these little failures
of my year in review
Track Name: Deep End (Swamp-Stomp Version) (live)
well sledgehammer jackhammer
rocking it to my brain
i been looking for a rescue
in the magazines and thorazine
i called in sick today
i'm looking for a rescue
darkness closing in
make no mistake
i can take my medicine
but sometimes it don't take
when you're looking for a rescue

i'm jumping in but where do i begin
when it's cold and lonely
here in the deep end

i've been staring at the ceiling
i've been staring at the floor
i'm looking for a rescue
i'm a million time loser
but who's keeping score
i'm looking for a rescue
up and wash my face
water down the drain
everything's extended metaphors
or completely mundane
when you're looking for a rescue

dj play the record
without picking up the phone
i'm looking for a rescue
and the man on the screen
is sending messages to my home
i'm looking for a rescue
that man on the screen
i know he's a liar
i got this natural-born talent
but who's gonna hire
someone looking for a rescue
Track Name: Driving the Nails (live)
turn down the light placate the drunk
kill the telephone
i don't wanna sit this one out
and have you rape me later on
now ladies and gentlemen i used to be a notorious killer
and then i became the world's greatest dancer
always asking what the truth was
and never waiting for an answer

now it's the clay inside this heart of stone
and the concrete in my head
i know there's a fine line
between the living and the dead
and i used to go to slasher films
and leave feeling pretty free
it's really quite cathartic
to see yourself up on the screen and

i've been driving the nails
firmly in your tree
you've been talking to your Father
on behalf of me
nothing at these check points
i care to defend
so why do i raise the hammer up
and drive the nails again

now in the graveyard of my secrets
there's a hope buried beneath
all this talk of peace and righteousness
has left me weary beyond belief
and there's an unwanted mistress
in my bed late at night
she say "i know you're a criminal
you been on death row all your life"

turn out the lights and reconnect the phones
fill the drunk's glass to the brink
i'm ready for penetration honey
but it's not what you think
you gotta fill this stinking shell
of false humanity
fill it up with bullet holes
from your firing squad of mercy
Track Name: Berlin in '53 (live)
i have a photograph
detailing the matter
quite a formidable pair they were
full of grace and swagger

those smiles are disarming
it's like a drowning sensation
their hands full of each other's
highly classified information

Berlin in '53
a young lieutenant i admire
he took his young bride up in his arms
they set the whole city on fire

on fire it was
saved from distraction
on fire indeed
with their love and passion

he covered her with kisses
he adorned her with praise
she took him unto herself
they set the whole city ablaze

tear down those walls
when she walked by in that dress
melt all the stone hearts
melt the machine gun nests

and let freedom ring
in that bloc to the east
those two got a weapon
they will soon unleash

well the devil he roams
the big machines they rust
kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall
trampled in the dust

i saw it in that photograph
they haven't stopped it yet
whatever Romeo whispered
to his sweet Juliet
Track Name: Bolt Action (live)
man at the crossroads with a voice of anticipation
he's playing elmore james and reciting lamentations
i am one i am two
to whom the stroke was due

up here in this tower for forty-eight hours
without food or drink or water
maybe i oughta

try to remind yourself to tell yourself it doesn't really matter
why are my lips so blue my pulse ever getting shallow
didn't hurt whatever do you mean
didn't feel a thing

know i know i could hear it if the truth be told
ya'll step right up and pop the trip wire soul
my bolt action
my dissatisfaction
Track Name: Certain Slant of Light
gather up these weary bones
another day to muster
yeah twisted wreckage spent
held in strictest confidence

lamp burning in the sitting room
empty house pouring salt in my wounds
close the door and throw the bolt
and await the results

there's a certain slant of light
and the hope that's in your eyes
and i hardly realize
as i slip beneath those waves

yeah this rain seems to last and last
heavy heart yearning gray sky overcast
in this womb for a while
i collapse like a small child

let the doubts all perish at sea
you've got to learn to dream all over again
how long it's hard to tell
in the belly of your whale

tell me your deep dark secret
yeah and i will tell you mine
oh is that your deep dark secret
oh well never mind
Track Name: Postscript
i did this as a matter of principle
i did this if the truth be told
i did this as a way of serving notice
i did this to regain control

there is a window behind these wounds
i see the heart of God
You got your arms stretched out
and the nails go in

there is a field where the burdened find rest
the lovers learn to taste
You got your arms stretched out
and the warmed embrace

i don't succumb to the heat of the moment
where the raw nerve of emotions hangs loose
i understand the sacrifices made on my behalf
if you understand i have done the same for you

out in the field where the burdened find rest
the lovers learn to taste
You got your arms stretched out
oh and the chains fall away
Track Name: Double Cure (Early Solo-Acoustic Version)
today i'm sick of all i am
today is my setback
first i say i love you
i stab you in the back

wanna drink out of that fountain
on a hill called double cure
show you my allegiance Lord
i wanna be a son of Yours

i'm tired of all my toys
they never last for long
they're beaming dreams and wishes
to a big dish on my lawn

i bet you've got a story
you've been aching to tell
i bet you've thrown some coinage
down the wishing well

go and call your neighbor
there is no time to waste
get your wife and family
proceed with all due haste

you ask me why i love Him
He gave riches to the poor
i will one day see that face
over yonder shore
Track Name: On To Bethlehem (Flagpole 1995 Version)
so i'm at this wheel it's three am
waiting for the caffeine to come around
and life rears it's ugly head again
they say your radio's cool and retail's way down

and i'd like to say i'm faithful
to the task at hand
speaking gospel to a handful
and others with their list of demands

it's cold this year and i'm late on my dues
it's cold in here ah but that's nothing new
my heart's electric with your love again
so it's on to bethlehem

you might surmise that i ran there
but i really only crept
lead me to the place where love runs wild
and then it dogs your every step

you know how fickle my heart is
prone to wonder my Lord
yeah we talk but it's at arms length
always got one eye on the door

God wraps Himself up in human skin
for those who want to touch
and God let them drive the nails in
for those of us who know way too much

You come bearing all our burdens
and take Your lovers for a ride
but we stay holed up in our cages
fashioned by our own design

so tell me what is your secret
what's on your blister soul
what is that one little secret
you know the one that has taken its toll

'cause daddy's banging on your gate again
yeah he won't leave you alone
got a whole lot of dry warm rooms
and the finest of homes
Track Name: Sing Angel Choirs (Sister Ruby Version)
well some things are plain to clear eyes
some gifts go completely unrecognized
we're shackled to hate bounded by fear
straining to see my face in the mirror

yeah i once knew a man who left town on the run
he went looking for joy but joy didn't come
so let Your name with praise be adorned
sing angel choirs for Jesus is born

yeah i'm picking through pieces of yesterday's boasting
hold them up to the light and examine them closely
a love is a field that the weeds have grown up in
my earth is all scorched with my wreckage and ruin

yeah the cup is tarnished but the wine is true
only the finest two hundred proof
so let Your name with praise be adorned
sing angel choirs for Jesus is born

holy Mary meek and mild
full of the Spirit full with Child
stumble around through the message each year
so open these eyes open these ears
Track Name: Where My Seed Might Find Purchase
the leaves are changing for quite some time
as we headed south thirty five
some unfinished business left to do
stepping stone up we're further away from you

there's been talk on the telephone
about these bleeding parts of mine
they say your radio is pretty good this year
but your retail's not worth a dime

where my seed might find purchase
where my seed might find purchase

tonight these hollow bodies
been thrown into the path
stun gun electricity
the bleeding fingers strumming hacks

my tubes they are a rattling
the wind among dead leaves
and my amps well they're howling
for nobody else but me

yeah slipping under beneath the haze
john barleycorn too often
generally i am the one most inclined
to drive the nails into their respective coffins

distortion factor's kicking in
a thousand miles from home
and tonight my speakers are breaking up too much
with a beauty all of their own

could your bloodstream ever withstand
the poison born of bitterness and vices
you must learn to live thankful to the Lord
or be left to your own devices

yeah we're out here on these paths again
speaking our peace throwing caution to the wind
there's a warm dry room you can sleep in
caught out in the open
Track Name: All We Left Unsaid
fare you well my noble grace
there are places we have been
milestones on this path we walk
you were my constant friend

and i was busy chasing shadows
when you slipped beneath waves
now i'm drownin' here in my regret
and all i left unsaid

who knows what proper judgment
befalls these sin-sick hearts
weary and seeking comfort
or a candle in the dark

you were bleeding with some burden
you would not give away
now i'm drownin' here in my regret
of all i left unsaid

now words they could be prayers
or some melodious song
words they are empty buildings
that we all hide among

are promises just good intentions
dreams that we wished we had made
castles yes but those made of sand
and all we left unsaid

rumors rumors yes i've heard them
all around this town
what is come from heaven
cannot stay in the ground

and so i hang onto for dear life
the words the young girl said
i'm beginning to hear whispers
of all we left unsaid