We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

FOOTNOTES FOR DEPARTURE​/​WPA 19 (WPA Compilation volume 2) by Bill Mallonee & Muriah Rose 2016

by Bill Mallonee

/
1.
PILLOW OF STARS (FATE & SAD REVERSALS) music/lyrics: bill mallonee pass me that paper n’ pen and shot to boot let a dreamer preach a sermon and a fool speak half-a heart full chorus: and baby, when you love... ya’ find out who you are wherever you lay your head... may there be a pillow of stars and though fate and sad reversals may slow your journey home you’ll get there cause that deal was done... a long, long time ago... And what cha said with your eyes was more n’ you wanted to speak my how we use these stammerin’ tongues to steady stumblin’ feet I dunno why I rock this way or why I roll with such an art dunno why speak these words to break my own heart
2.
OTHERWISE 04:40
Otherwise Year: 2006 | Run Time: 4:38 Written by Bill Mallonee f i guess i was expecting better from myself always this nagging feeling i should be somewhere else home well now there's the rub mine could stand a shine now there's a thousand miles between some motel room and a back porch swing of what used to be otherwise i was living under the colored lights they're now breaking monochrome i fractured blessed images i once made and then owned and home i made a good one once there was no disguise now there's a thousand miles between a heartbeat and a back porch swing of what used to be otherwise (bridge) so i'll play you a certain card every time my mind gets loud but it'll never sweep the hand when my heart's gone so far south and i'll roll you a couple of dice every time i'm dying to live you can read it in the gambler's eyes but it's speaking in his fingertips i have this dream quite frequently where i am blind and lame stumbling through forgotten cities looking for my name and home well i became one once under those clearer skies now there's a thousand miles between some motel room and a back porch swing of what used to be otherwise "I think 6/8 is the most mournful of time signatures... Ben Holst does the dobro, Muriah the perfect harmony vocal. I recorded this with an old, and I mean OLD early '60's hollow body Harmony Monterey... said "dust bowels" to me... I'd love to hear this one in a movie one day."
3.
STRAND OF STARS (all Woven in Your Hair) words/music: bill mallonee It all rolled in here...after the flood brought in the drifters...brought in the drugs brought in the dirt...left with the pure brought in the hunger...without a cure CHORUS: I thought I saw... a strand of stars all woven in your hair I’m sure all I did was stare I’m sure all I did was stare everyone groaning...for some relief everyone sighing...in disbelief a song of sadness...with a bridge of decay One with a long slow...grandiose fade brought in the dealers...brought in the fakers brought in the greedy...promise breakers then came the paper...the pen and the ink then came the lawyers...and all that fine print I need you near...I need you close so the face in mirror...is less of a ghost Bring on the healing...seal the escapes open a vein...on magnetic tape (Alt-verse left out) perilous times...too short a rope to reach the shoreline...of tenuous hope too deep the darkness...riotous weather faith all fractured...cobbled together
4.
Here Comes Heartache by Bill Mallonee one more lonely trail one more busted guardrail one more safety net shot to hell you'd have thought after the last time i'd have learned to read the road signs maps they are of no use to the blind Chorus: your cab speeds away in the rain but there's a guest that will soon be showing up again i recognize her all-too-familiar face here comes heartache who knows how we got this far a black leather jacket and a fast car wasn't it always written in the stars you'd have thought after such a common thing the books and pills and the distractions i'd have found a way back to the start you delivered your goodbye with many a tear academy awards await you dear one for the best supporting fake here comes heartache it was your movie from the very start you needed a lead so i tried out for the part forgot all my lines so i gave you my heart i got a review that you wrote i keep it in the pocket of an old coat what am i supposed to do with any of this and the whole thing hits like a tidal wave the pain the shame the fear and the rage when that wall hits the beach and we break here comes heartache
5.
Pull With All Your Life Year: 2008 | Run Time: 3:33 Written by Bill Mallonee there's a slot machine inside your skull right beside a pretty girl she says don't forget honey the drinks are all free and there's a prayer you whisper 'fore you make your bed it's the one you'll lie in with your sweetheart regret yeah your sweetheart regret chorus: there's a price you pay for taking a crack just to stand up here but let's not talk about that no no let's not talk about that you grip the handle in the dark and move out of the light pull with all of your heart pull with all of your might hey kid pull with all of your life it feels like a dream but they're starting to deal and the backdrop's plastic and always surreal
6.
Grave Reservations Year: 2006 | Run Time: 3:44 Written by Bill Mallonee hand on the wheel again...you're king of nothing son and all your loyal subjects ...betrayed you every one to these grave reservations...cut to the bone marrow sensations you're like a compass with no true north...you're blown away,way off course chorus: underneath the engine hum road noise delirium since nothing showed her pretty face it was nothing you embraced hand to the plow again...man's glory is fleeting hand to your heart...to see if it's still beating the breakdown wasn't temporary...here's to a cell solitary and in these veins of dust, kid, it's time that you do business hand on the wheel again sweet kingdom come i'm all lost in the Christmas snow and tired of going numb
7.
SOLILOQUY 03:59
Soliloquy Year: 2006 | Run Time: 3:58 Written by Bill Mallonee one to get my tongue loose and two for a broken heart three for all of that wreckage that we left in the dark so one more yeah the neon's getting fuzzy two hey pal can you help me find my keys three if you could point me in the right direction well i might get home again Now, i'll tell you what i think about it from this bully pulpit barstool where everybody's nodding but nobody's listening to to this fool And I'm fumbling for some loose pocket change to spend at a pay phone in the rain to say i'm sorry a thousand times again yeah, your heart kid seem to be open but 'round here tonight it's closing time and that lame ass way you have of coping and readin; between the lines there is a very old saying known by every boxer in the ring you tell yourself when you're cut and bleeding you don't feel a thing
8.
Warm, Safe and Dry by Bill Mallonee you spent years knocking on doors that never opened a bit with your knuckles full of splinters and your clenched fist thinking there was something something that you missed you swung at everything you once embraced and kissed CHORUS: and i wonder if i'll make it back to the circle of your eyes to that room where it's all warm and safe and dry could be some things you'll miss if you check out of here symphonic falls and summer's colored fields december's praying trees and bethlehem's bright stars and all those ones who love you like you are and i wonder if i'll make it back to the circle of your smile to that room where it's all warm and safe and dry there's a simple meal but it'll always be enough and the wine of God's love fills your cup when You got to my heart it's all wrecked and sad i guess you could say it was pretty bad
9.
High Beam (Fall Apart) Year: 2007 | Run Time: 4:17 Written by Bill Mallonee well if you care to listen and even if you don't well i got over needing you a long time ago i took great care to know you and i gave you all my best i was living to make you smile i was dying to impress but all this getting born all these roses and the thorns and the confusing (more less bloody) parts i cobbled my life together with them just to watch it fall apart so i took it to the road yeah and i took it from my dreams till i became invisible and lost in the high beam the pen it never ran dry like a sword i learned to wield i used my words to expose and i used them to conceal what was heavy as hell and far too much to carry i wrote my prayers and my S.O.S. on bar stationery from where i stumbled last night staggering right back to the start what you learn comes the hard way and will softly break your heart
10.
Got Nowhere Year: 2006 | Run Time: 3:05 Written by Bill Mallonee i got nowhere to lay my head i got no home got no dreams got no bed and i got no friends to speak of and i got no message except love got no band i got no deal thank you joe and sara for the wheels seems when you think can't get no worse second chorus same as the first love's the kind that wishes you well comes with hammers comes with nails it's pretty bloody so be forewarned comes with no crown save of thorns i found a pen and an old guitar it was a prayer of sorts past the stars sure you heard salvation songs but it was mostly of barely holding ons love's the kind that goes underground after the body's been taken down and after death has had her say surprised when you get up and join the parade i got nowhere to run tonight and aren't we all just looking for the light and a place to stay warm
11.
LONG GOOD BYE words/music: bill mallonee All i remember is that it was easy...easiest thing i ever done i'd pick you up and the songs...they'd just come had all these tapes spinning in my head far too hard to ignore but cha always helped me string it through one day more chorus: Still there's one thing about which i'll likely always be confused: Did you choose this? or did it choose you? you were the only the doctor i could rely on the only prayer i ever prayed the only Savior i could count on ...to save a 1000 songs, a million shows to many, "yeah, kid, that one shoulda gone gold" after the party died you were all i could hold bridge: Thanks for letting me hold you more than real, real tight i hope you will forgive me dear for keeping you up late at night life is cruel and a mystery you gotta find you a reason to believe like the ace tucked inside your sleeve All i remember is that it was hard hardest thing i ever done I'd picked you up...and the songs? they'd just come... they'd just come... yeah, they'd just come... yeah, they'd just come...
12.
After All the Tellin' Gets Told Year: 2008, 4:38 Music/Lyrics: Bill Mallonee why does it hurt why does it ache all the stammering and the stumbling same old mistakes building up lies breaking of hearts in that shabby little side the one you never thought till the curtains fall and credits all roll there's big money to be made on the small story sold all of the telling gets told now with all of the twist and all of the turns and all of the crash and all of the burns and all of the heartache soon to be forgot when it all comes together or maybe not till the curtain falls and credits all roll till all of your dross gets turned to gold and all of the telling gets told find yourself standing out there in the rain with your own personal gold-plated ball and chain the cameras they're all live they can tell you all you're assembling the footage of your own rise and fall and you hope that life wins out over death sure it is your last prayer but you ain't holding your breath you hope that goodness will one day shine bright and you hope that justice gets a word in edgewise through all of the storms and all of life's bad weather now all of the i love yous dead and gone forever before it all fades to black and they turn off the sound forgive all that i gave up and all that i let down till the curtains fall and credits all roll the tears they're all dried and all the wounds are made whole till all of the telling gets told
13.
THE YEARS THE RIVER BEARS AWAY Music/lyrics: bill mallonee Up here in this room with these headphones on to catch the whisper of your ghost.... long gone shake off the dust shake off the clay stumblin’ in here outta gutter and grave it’s too early too leave but it’s too late to stay and the years.... that the river bears away rolling the tape...to tune in on the dead just as they leave...pegging the red red like the dust red like the clay under your nails inside your veins horse wants to run but he’s kept so at bay there by the years... that the river bears away hung like a flag in your sad parade hung like a thief with his ball and chain shake off the dust shake off the clay stumblin’ in here outta gutter and grave too early too leave too late to stay and the years.... that the river bears away
14.
Brand New Skin (for Mary Alice Newman) Year: 2008 | Run Time: 3:59 Written by Bill Mallonee mother i remember you all ringed with roses and laurel thanks for teaching me those words i couldn't save you from your sorrow oh please close your eyes and wait to begin you'll wake up in your brand new skin show me out some different way to slide through that tomorrow if it vanishes like haze your old life? well, it's just borrowed oh to close your eyes and wait to begin you'll wake up in your brand new skin bridge: now whatever falls away...and whatever is dross whatever fills the grave...and whatever gets lost hold it all up to the light when it's all wrecked and scarred all that chrome touch-up paint well it won't take you far
15.
16.
NOMENCLATURE 02:53
Nomenclature Written by Bill Mallonee this is one of those nights a halo rings the moon you venture out upon those hard streets of gloom the moon shines so bright pinned to her curtain of blue the only sound you hear is the shuffling of your shoes this is one of those nights there's nowhere to hide another neon happy hour fell a lifetime shy your heart's a lonely ocean and your heart is just a tomb and the only sound you hear is the shuffling of your shoes i've told a million truths whispered a million lies i learned to do it all looking dead into your eyes keep it to the back roads yeah the underground's even better you map the strange terrain with a different nomenclature yeah this is one of those nights where God could show up soon the only sound you hear is the shuffling of your shoes DID YOU KNOW? This song was originally released via BillTunes in January of 2007. Of this one, Bill says, "More Woody Guthrie-esque nylon-string guitar... I rather like the simple pay-off line in it...."

about

IN TEARS AND IN TENDERNESS
(Some thoughts on the verse, “Jesus wept.”)
by: bill mallonee

Ever since I was very young, maybe 5-6 years old, I have been obsessed with death. I sensed “it” early on. The notion of the cessation of Life and one’s personality was repulsive, cauterizing and harrowing. I don’t know how I “internalized” so much of it in my thoughts, impressions and nightmare-ish images, but I did.
Life was supposed to be Saturdays, no school…and freedom

Let’s face it: You get older, Health diminishes. Love seems to fail. Life sputters out, sometimes in horrific ways; It all adds to the helpless-ness and fear. Mortality, finitude, lack of permanence. Whatever one chooses to describe it with, one most days, it all seems bleak & relentless.

“Every thing dies, baby, that’s a fact…” ~ “Atlantic City”/Bruce Springsteen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know the religious narratives, Biblical and otherwise. The stories we have, whether based in history or myth, are typically ones of beauty with beautiful endings.
Yes. They help one “stare it down.” For fleeting moments they bring some joy and assurance. But (on most days) my faith is weak if there at all. I still shudder at the prospect of death.
…but maybe a little less.
And here’s why…

“Jesus wept.” John 11: 35
It’s the shortest verse in the Bible.
I remember an Easter week story in the Bible. (I have Dr. Francis Schaeffer to thank for this insight.) The scene is the one where Jesus is brought word that his good friend Lazarus is very, very sick. Interestingly, even oddly, He waits a few days before heading out to visit Lazarus. He even informs his disciple/friends that Lazarus has died. But, he also tells them to have some faith. “Wait,” he basically says. “The ‘Last word’ on the subject hasn’t been spoken yet.”

Jesus arrives at the tomb. Lazarus has been dead for 3 days. He stares at the stone sealed over the entrance as was the practice in ancient times. He is oblivious to the murmurings and goading of his detractors who are also there. He is lost in memory, the loving memories of his friend.
Now, here’s the curious thing:
The Greek text says something that have been translated as “Jesus groaned in spirit,” that He was “troubled.”
But the explanation (exegesis) that I have heard says that He was angry.
Jesus.
Angry.
It is a moment that draws one up short.
Jesus.
Groaning with anger.
Angry at death,
Angry at loss,
Angry at grief,
and all that it has is robbed from his friend, from us.

Angry at all that is absurd.

To me, it was and still is, explosive.
Think about it: The Son of God. (Or whatever name you wish to ascribe to Him)…is angry.
Angry at death.
Angry at a universe that is brutish, cruel and without explanation

There is more to come here:
If all the claims about Him are true, what follows is the most pure, loving, & transparent gesture ever made by a human being on this earth.

The Bible says: “Jesus wept.”

The shortest verse.
And the one with loudest bombshell of Grace.

Got it? Has it registered?
The weeping Christ feels the same way about death…as you do.
No dressing it up.
No “dumbing it down.”
No minimizing the horror or futility of it.
This is something to weep bitter, angry tears over.
“Jesus wept.”
It is an overwhelming display of tenderness.

What does this mean?
What does it mean to have the Son of God weep at your graveside, at my graveside?

It, at the very least, means this:
You are not alone. You are not alone in your anger at death;
Not alone in your fear of death;
Not alone in your anger of all that goes lost, unfulfilled, unfinished when death shows up;
Not alone in your anger even at God for “allowing” such an atrocity/interruption/tragedy to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Maybe one day, baby, everything comes back…” ~ B. Springsteen

There is no glossing it over or prettifying this life.
Sermonize it, eulogize it, Oprah-ize it…
We all, one way or another, “leave the party” too soon.

Holy Week.
Is it symbolic for all of this journey we call Life?
If, so, here’s what you can bet on:
Take up your cross, so to speak. That cross of your human existence.
You can count bet on your heart being broken…a million times.
You can count on your dreams being dashed;
You can count on your best intentions being ignored or, worse, misunderstood.
You can count on losing those who are nearest & dearest.
You can count on knowing loneliness on a first name basis.

But count on this as well:
You are not alone.
Something always seems to be “lurking” at the edges of our days, even the darkest of them.
A “last word,” perhaps?
I find this sort of “incongruity” a quiet witness to the truth of the faith.
The bad news comes first, before the “good news” makes sense.

The human-ness of Jesus.
So utterly perfect that He can grieve perfectly the loss of his dear friend, be angry about it…and still be Lord, God, Savior.
He doesn’t offer explanations as to why evil exists.
In tears and tenderness He just weeps at Lazarus’ tomb.
And I suspect He weeps at every tomb.

So, how does this affect you and me in the here and now?
Easter is often offered to us in a sanitized, neutered version.
Complete with bonnets, new dresses, colored eggs and bunnies. Nature rejoices. There’s a lot to be said and celebrated about the energy of God’s Love within the life force.
Still, I think, we are lulled into missing the point.

Easter, as the Bible tells it, is the grittiest of the Church’s remembrances.
The events of Holy Week are a crystallization & distillation of all that can “go wrong” in the world…and within our lives.

Holy Week’s pages are filled with accounts of friends who “pledge allegiance.”
Loud, self-inflated boasters who say they’ll follow a friend even unto death.
And then they don’t. They cut and run.
How many times have we done likewise, when a bit of heroism was called for?
When given their chance to be courageous arrives?
Their cowardice manifests itself from every word & deed…

Holy Week’s pages are peppered with feckless & conniving “climbers” who will sell a friend out just to save their own skin and possibly get ahead.

Easter’s sad pages are also filled with folks of good heart;
They haul bodies off of bloody instruments of torture and death. They try and bestow what little honor is left on a Body so disfigured by human hatred & violence that It’s hardly recognizable.

Good folks (or at least aspiring to be so) who heard the most astonishing words ever spoken to humankind.
Just like we do every Sunday morning.

In Scripture, Easter week is filled with “Good-Hearted,” “Nodding-In-Agreement,” “I’ll-never-sell-you-short, Jesus,” people who cut and run at the first sign of confrontation or challenge.

We do it all the time.
It’s a big club.
We’ve made it an art form.
And so, one of Easter Week’s lessons is simply this:
Be not deceived.
Neither you nor I are not made of such stern stuff.

And because of that, Jesus wept, as well.

He has reason to weep.
He is weeping still.
Weeping at all of the vain glories we chase after.
Weeping at the 2 bit, cheap idols we “buy," deify and cling to.
Weeping at all the betrayals we’ll no doubt tally up as we live out our days.
Weeping anew at the war machines we create and surround with rhetoric like “patriotism,” “national interests,” "our way of life," and “Glory.”
All dressed up in with rhetoric with names of concepts that annihilate Life.

He’s weeping still at the harsh words, judgements and criticisms we thoughtless cut each other to pieces with, often in the name of His religion.
Weeping at the love & kindness & compassion we withhold from one another.

Jesus. Weeping. Endlessly weeping. Perpetually weeping

He weeps at every tomb, even now,
I suspect, in some way, He is weeping at our own tombs.
The ones, like Lazarus, we will one day enter.

The Lord of Life, The Son of God.
Closer than a Brother.
You, dear lost, lonely, sinful, scared traveler…are never alone.

Limitless in His Mercy, Grace and tear stained Consolations.
Tears are one of those things, The Good & Gracious Savior has never run out of.

You will hear His voice, just as Lazarus did.
You’ll shake off the shroud of death, and perhaps, with stumbling steps, move into the light & towards that Voice.
New skin. Radiant as a new-born baby.
And, falling into His arms, you will recognize that voice of Tenderness & of Love Itself.

And when that day arrives you may well find some of His blessed tears on your new suit of clothes, as well.

Grace & Peace,
Bill Mallonee
Easter Week

credits

released January 28, 2016

Bill Mallonee: vocals, guitars, harmonica, bass, drums
Muriah Rose: vocals, piano, accordion

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 80 plus albums over a 30 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "Lead On, Kindly Light" is a 23song double Cd released Feb 2020.
... more

contact / help

Contact Bill Mallonee

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Bill Mallonee, you may also like: