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Fetal Position (2002)

by Bill Mallonee

/
1.
made a visit to your garden to come there and ask for pardon my offense was very great my defense was second rate she's luminous ya dig? yeah and she's so liquid tears were words and then again falling down like English rain once a king and now a fool lead me to baptismal pools and you put every fear to flight and you bathed me in the pale moonlight there were angels in the trees looking on looking on looking on looking on cross my heart and hope to tell your kiss is like a wishing well two coins tossed and here we crash i don't think i heard them splash
2.
i've got you and some scars for all my labors you've got me everybody needs a Savior i feel bad all these days that we spent running you're all grown up and i hardly saw it coming i believe it turns to gold watch love begin to unfold it's like a story you were once told when you believed in God and New Romantics and life out there on other planets angel's wings and all these giants being slain the smallest stone well it can get lodged in your brain i see you and my heart fills with emotion i push your swing but it's silent and in slow motion i'm always falling in love it's the least you can do i'm always falling in love with something other than you pull me up God i don't know why i'm lame i'm drowning in a sadness i can't hardly name easily swayed by the power of suggestion it's always hard getting past those first impressions
3.
where do i begin where do i venture in to knock upon the door of possibilities? i'm oh so cavalier open my mouth up to cover my fear but you smiled and played along with awkward first intentions i think i lost my breath whenever you said yes when looking downward i asked if i might kiss you and even that you walked me through all these new rooms to explore yeah and all my rusty locks fell to the floor and if you wished for the brightest star would you consider a crescent moon? and if i'm late ah baby wait i will bring it soon stumbling when i come tripping over my dumb tongue for God's sake don't these momma's boys ever grow up? much too easily hurt life is coming to grips with what you're worth when God says one thing but your heart says another where do i begin? where do i venture in? to come inside this love that's sacramental i remember when i first beheld your face yeah on the streets of this old town now i carry it every place
4.
well it's the sound of innocence dragging it's the sound of falling off the wagon it's those million dreams you never gave a name we got summer summer in our veins was it your sadness that's well beyond belief? like a picture thrown in sharp relief but you only get to see the rainbow when it rains yeah but we got summer summer in our veins you throw your life away while on the run you're passing out of the pocket like Fran Tarkenton it's that desperate aspect of his game yeah but he had summer summer in his veins soon you'll be making your way in the world perhaps you'll meet a boy or a girl some days it's all beautiful and glad yes and some days shimmering and sad we drift in music all our lives perhaps could be the soundtrack yeah but running backwards but those warm rays are splashing on your windowpane we got summer summer in our veins yeah we got summer summer in our veins
5.
it all seemed like water under the bridge you use the current to your best advantage yeah you laugh it off with a cough and composure that's all the elements your exposure yeah the years wear you down like a river she rolls sink to the bottom or you swim on your own but either way you're [she's] smooth as a stone it's blood from your veins but it's all in code i had a gun once i had to unload 900 / 99 / 99 / 99 / 99 years from home unreality has no area code well destiny she caught me napping we're all just accidents waiting to happen yeah if i could kiss burgundy mist off your cherry lips if i could dance with you slow hands on your hips
6.
Wintergreen 04:20
she pops a stick of wintergreen outside the cash machine it's lonely being lovely all the time yeah when the rules all changed the strange terrain of love's modern games the ones that you play in your mind yeah i was across the block baby when the bomb went off but i felt it just the same i knew it was meant for me but you're a little bad with your trajectory still my heart's a bit shellshocked how could you walk away from this so easily? dead of night and the city's bright caught blinking at the traffic light the tapes are so hard to erase baby i've been going wrong ever since you've been gone are you chasing or being chased? yeah i got a heart of stone everybody's got a stain glass soul i've been sleeping at Gethsemene got mother Mary and a rosary you had secrets and i had baggage together we decided to unpack it dreamed a dream now you're laughing at it you're just a girl in a leather jacket dead of night and the city's bright caught blinking at the traffic light it's a drink or an SM-58 baby, we've been going wrong ever since you've been gone are you chasing or being chased?
7.
Grave 02:23
the highways they're all empty full of secrets you can't say the high beams will freeze-frame them but in the darkness they make a getaway numb fingers will light the fuse under a bridge you'll burn it's that strange cross that you take up forget all that you learned part of you is sorry for how you waste your days but given all those options could it have been any other way the safety net shot full of holes and the trapeze act's gone wrong so you just learn to make it up as you go along there's a hundred million reasons to love you as i should some of them are bad ones but some are pretty good it's that little part you cast out but it would not go away it's that little thing you buried but it won't stay in the grave stay in the grave well your voice is ragged weary your tubes as hot as coals no i may not get the words just right but at least the story's told you're all about the giving out and there's little in return when nothing fills your treasure chest it's more than you deserve
8.
i don't know why the moment struck me that way was it doubt in your voice i was upset i'm sure your sunglasses they were a barricade but your tanks came in and then i was floored sucker punch drunk on the ropes of reason my senses were scourged by betrayal and treason i thought we were winning but your eyes told the score is this a peace treaty baby or an act of war? all or nothing it's all or nothing got to take a risk and throw caution to the wind never let go my hand through the thick and thin all or nothing it's all or nothing two people driving for the brightest of stars here's your man baby loving you hard read between the lines of my onboard mechanisms useless now due to certain cataclysms that were real no doubt but beyond my control we hedge all our bets and we eye the back door there's always the risk and there's always the chance but courage beats every little lousy circumstance i hear when you love you will never grow old so come on girl what are you waiting for? now we're running on empty most days and nights running on empty most of our lives ain't about winning it's more about the trying sometimes you bring up the water when the well is dry
9.
You Give It All Your Heart words & music by bill mallonee c. 1999 Admin BMI yeah you give it all your heart 'cause that's the way you play the game ever since the smell of fresh cut outfield grass you've always been this way from the oil upon your leather glove to the sharp crack of the bat to the faces on the trading cards and the stats upon the back you give it all your heart 'cause they come to see you swing you learn to nurse your own hurts and hope the coach doesn't suspect a thing sure it is a long shot but the sky seemed oh so clear we may not make it out the bush leagues honey but that's not why we're here now ever since the first game it's been deep inside of you was it a music only you could hear when the count was three and two? but ever since you picked up the wood you can't seem to put it down you cannot get enough of it so you roam from town to town and some call it your passion and some call it your gift you know the way you read the wind-up and the nuance of each pitch the whole thing felt like something else when we walked onto that field it was like a language you must learn to read or a base that you must steal we may not win the pennant we may not drink champagne it's not whether you win or lose but it's how you play the game the heroes are not as many and the scoreboards are not as bright but somewhere some kid gets it all when he swings that wood tonight i once knew a woman she asked her son to shine her shoes she put a quarter in each one of them 'cause she thought that was his due but he returned the money and when she asked him why that was he said mom i'm old enough to know by now you just do some things for love well you give it all your heart 'cause that's the way you play the game ever since the smell of fresh-cut outfield grass we've always been this way sure it is a long shot but the sky seemed oh so clear we may not make it out of the bush leagues honey but that's not why we're here
10.
i don't want to lose this one before it is too late things just have a way of slipping through my fingers when the strongest of convictions sort of gets bent out of shape when the gnawing claw of doubt still lingers you don't lose don't lose no pieces will you ever lose after all you've done for me it's the least i could do for you as lonely as the final leaf swept from a barren tree and the drugs they don't go deep enough to set you free and the fan blades reflect halo-effects when i look up and see you when the words won't frame the room you're in pictures will have to do to live inside these ruins where you move without a sound oh to live inside this skin again die outside your town oh to break forth into sonnets oh Lord keep me coming back oh the stories that you tell your head to keep your heart intact

about

"The FIRST SOLO ALBUM...and we love it!" ~ PASTE MUSIC
Great production from Tom Lewis!
"gorgeous and haunting"
"A writer whose craft seems to continue to manifest itself in leaps and bounds. A pop jewel."

credits

released June 30, 2002

bill mallonee: all guitars, vocals, harp
Jake Bradley: bass
Kevin Heuer: drums
Bill Holmes: keys, Lovely guitar solo on "wintergreen!"
produced by Tom Lewis!

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Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 80 plus albums over a 30 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "Lead On, Kindly Light" is a 23song double Cd released Feb 2020.
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