We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

DOLOROSA (Fall & Winter 2013)

by Bill Mallonee & The High Desert Freaks

/
1.
ONLY ONE THING EVER DOES words/music: bill mallonee yer always in the dark about how it'll fall out but, right now? it don't look so good there's doctrines & texts that people spout so, i guess it ends like it should it was drums & guitars and a stack of wax they say the spirit hovered over creation in a dusty & cold cinder block basement I forged my own salvation CHORUS: when you're betting farms & placing your faith seeking your sign from above a million things could happen they say but only one thing ever does there's a few truths and there's many a lie you sort through on your way so much heartache & beauty they hypnotize from cradle to the grave there are paupers & poets; shakers & movers but baby, that's just the thin veneer wear it all down to where rubber meets the road and we're all just travelin' with "fear." (sits in) the passenger side of a beautiful ride it's your Joy he's aiming to steal keep your eyes on the road...heart in the stars and don't let him get behind the wheel (An unused alt verse.) living in skin was the damnedest thing i smiled by numbers all the time it got easier...to live with the doubts and step over that line
2.
THE LONESOME VIEW words/music: bill mallonee 1. Ghosts 'tween the towers...of radio relay small town am...along the interstate there's a storm outside...and one inside, too it's the ghosts beneath that lonesome view 2. It's the sweat and strain...born of the curse an old tweed amp...oil-can reverb never turning back but never breakin' through it's the ghosts beneath that lonesome view 3.keep a little back...try to save some heart It's all fools gold...around these parts when the high desert...is bathed in blue moon It's the ghosts beneath that lonesome view 4. pull the fader down...pour the whiskey out you try & believe...in all you doubt if the stones should speak...if the stars should shout if the gardens bloom...after the drought 5. she may seem cruel...she may seem unkind maybe love....was just a little blind but, if she bestows a kiss...well, i won't refuse It's the ghosts beneath that lonesome beneath that lonesome beneath that lonesome view
3.
SMILE BY NUMBERS words & music: bill mallonee the light she plays....and the shadow is cast jump the next thing....that is going past you get use to the cold...and how the wind cuts and the sound of every door...that keeps slamming shut chorus: and the sunlight here paints her thin veneer of eternity o'er everything so, i smile by numbers and slumber in my bed i tie a hangman's knot inside my head it did not transpire...or happen over night sea changes rarely...occur in the light faith & trust, well it was all ya' ever wanted and you start to wonder if the house is haunted well, the eyes say it all...so best to keep 'em shut words are just air...so don't say much jump the next thing...that's going past we're all passing through this room...way too fast
4.
TILL I KNEW IT ALL BY HEART words/music: bill mallonee it's too late to talk about it time to put that one to bed can't it wait a few hours for the clear light of day? spread the maps out on the table study them by the fire light throwing shadows on the bare walls like a film in black & white chorus: i learned the night skies when i came here i pinned my hope on every star i was taught the geography of fear early on ...till i knew it all by heart those figures move in certain rhythms they move in cadences of grace they move so lost & so lonely barely filling up the space 'cause the hangman? he's always ready to help you straighten up your tie tip your hat if you should meet him and by all means: spit in his eye some say Love's the final answer some say that jury still deliberates you navigate...by sextant & by compass by Courage & by Faith un-used verse: there are maps within your spirit we keep on a parchment rolled up tight you'll need a heart that's a-blazing if you care to read them right
5.
STEADY NOW, STEADY NOW, STEADY NOW words/music: bill mallonee 1. one more bartender fill up this cup after this one, well, we'll settle up i'm opening up heaven & closing up shop steady now, steady now, steady now 2. there are no rules at least none i could post wandering lost, still, i'm luckier than most and when love showed her face? Ah! well, now there's a toast! steady now, steady now, steady now 3. i don't know if i've known you or if i ever did there were all these voices shouting & i was just a kid and you had a way of keeping yourself hid steady now, steady now, steady now 4. there were fixes & moments when i thought it was done an old chapter finished and a brand new one begun but nothing last forever...well, mostly not very long steady now, steady now, steady now 5. there was yearning inside till i thought i would burst did my prayers just careen through the cold universe no voice, no calling and no burning bush steady now, steady now, steady now 6. they say all that you sow is all that you'll reap and i'm sorry for the promises i failed to keep i'm gonna ask you to catch me...and then i'm gonna leap... steady now, steady now, steady now
6.
DOLOROSA (HEARTBREAK ON THE JUKEBOX) words & music bill mallonee the sound of heartbreak....from an old jukebox hardly anything sadder that i know perfume collides...with a scratchy 45 out on the dance floor there's a certain way....the light behaves on that new born-day of Spring "Promise" is a seed...you plant with deeper needs and see what the harvest brings chorus: now my journey got harsh...my path it got stern with every song that i wrote, every word that i spoke till i became invisible Was it something you chose? i dunno, I suppose Or was it something that chose ya? Dolorosa i made me a world with wood and steel strings Oh, the many things i learned hand to the plow & smile all the while even when their backs are turned you know you always...my sweet travelin' light though that was never widely known you were kind enough...to buy me a drink ...for the oblivion oh, to hold forth...with a twinkle in the eye and shine like those stars out west oh, to play yer tunes...under mirrorball moon oh, to sing till my last breath
7.
HERE COMES THE FLOOD words/music: bill mallonee there's a rumor going round that the end is nigh seems like i've heard that sorta talk most of my life one thing i never could completely understand how anyone could rejoice in the death of a man chorus: here comes the flood here comes the flood say "goodbye"....to all that you love progress is a wheel of steel and it's grins behind closed doors on the rack of cruel history has perished many a soul it's the sacrament of the greedy it's the bread & wine of the rich it is money in a vault dressed up in flags and rhetoric earth, it is a-shakin' sky she falls away confusion is the order the order of the day rain, it falls in sheets sweeping you from me and our tears they now mingle with the salt of the sea chorus: here comes the flood.... here comes the flood say "goodbye"....to all that you love now, death & destruction well, it's always been the rage and out of our hearts it spills all over the page fear makes you a thief and a thief is gonna steal to cover himself from the darkness that he feels
8.
RIO GRANDE 04:52
RIO GRANDE words/music: bill mallonee well, this old moonlight has been my friend as long as i can remember when was either poverty or a drug lord's gun Mother Mary, watch o'er your son keep a book of my mother's favorite poems she wrote 'em out longhand as i was going and i'm not sure but i'm willing to bet she said a Rosary for my every step Now, i'm not one to boast. tequila make me...like a ghost so i might swim, so i might stand on the other side of the Rio Grande now, there's a border frozen in my mind i've visited there a million times dreams are devils or your best friends 100 roads north, but only one way in i once a had a dream of Liberty she stood in a harbor & beckoned me and the river's deep and wide they say only man's fear & greed get in the way
9.
CLOSER TO HOME words/music: bill mallonee Looking for you out on the highways looking for you on those dusty back roads in every face of a beat down race to bring me closer to home looking for you in a pawn shop guitar or inside a pedal steel's moan in that 6-string drag through and old tweed amp to bring me closer to home whatever hope you pull from these sad rituals remember to try and forget if you make a deal with the devil from time to time well, always hedge your bet searching for you out in the desert that is where i heard you roam inside everything that can't be measured to bring me closer to home to bring me closer to home to bring me closer to home
10.
(DRIFTING THROUGH THOSE) CITIES OF RUIN words & music by bill mallonee hit the highway at daybreak roll out early for to San Antone every thing is up for grabs and you're the last to know chorus #1 and yer heart? she is a shooting star wanderin' out there on it's own drifting through those cities of ruin on your way back home call it a rite of passage call it something strong & true all those Appalachian deep sighs with the sunlight sifting through chorus #2 they say in Heaven you'll get your real name carved into a precious stone drifting through those cities of ruin on your way back home may your steps be full of wonder may the neon light your path may you have some tears to share when others dreams collapse chorus #3: and the desert? she'll hold your secrets when your thoughts are all dust blown drifting through the cities of ruin on your way back home hit the highway at midnight another time zone to get through a song drifting o'er the canyon and the stars they hang like jewels chorus #4: and the heart is like shooting like a star always blazing through the cold burning through those cities of ruin on your way back home
11.
FRIEND OF THE WESTERN WIND music/lyrics: bill mallonee there's got to be some comfort left in this old "left you out" world there's gotta be a place for you on the string of pearls it'll make you wear your thickest skin to keep the bullets at bay but underneath your heart is oh, so gold waiting to shine like the new day chorus: yeah, i hear your a friend of the western wind blowing all through the holes in your soul you don't know where she's been; ah, but then again she is taking you to where you wanna go taking you to where you wanna go i wrote this song on an old guitar under the influence of a million stars i was praying in the spirit, at least doing my best in a rhinestone jacket over a suede vest Autumn has a way of scattering leaves of your life all around...clearing the tree athering her dark clouds; she's such a stormy girl there's gotta be a place for you on the string of pearls
12.
I SAW THE END OF THE MATTER words/music: bill mallonee i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be a long hall of mirrors reflecting dimly and questions? they hung in the air like outlaws from a tree i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be i saw the end of the matter it was more than i had hoped call it the perfect punchline to a perfect joke you were the beacon in the lighthouse but i was n'er good at swimming seas i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be i saw the end of the matter it was just like a walk downtown i'd lost my hope just like most folks strugglin' not to drown mind you now, it was just a glimpse or maybe it was a dream i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be now truth? she had long since fled might say she sought a higher ground and justice? she'd long been dead simply nowhere to be found so much to say & no one to hear it Baby, it's just like old times, you see? i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be now, people talk in riddles and people speak in sums people speak in digits and people speak in tongues but a picture's worth 1000 words so let me draw it out for thee i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be
13.
14.
15.
16.
I SAW THE END OF THE MATTER words/music: bill mallonee i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be a long hall of mirrors reflecting dimly and questions? they hung in the air like outlaws from a tree i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be i saw the end of the matter it was more than i had hoped call it the perfect punchline to a perfect joke you were the beacon in the lighthouse but i was n'er good at swimming seas i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be i saw the end of the matter it was just like a walk downtown i'd lost my hope just like most folks strugglin' not to drown mind you now, it was just a glimpse or maybe it was a dream i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be now truth? she had long since fled might say she sought a higher ground and justice? she'd long been dead simply nowhere to be found so much to say & no one to hear it Baby, it's just like old times, you see? i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be now, people talk in riddles and people speak in sums people speak in digits and people speak in tongues but a picture's worth 1000 words so let me draw it out for thee i saw the end of the matter it was just like i thought it would be

about

“Superb…beautiful…brilliant…” ~ Steve Ruff/DownTheLineZine

~ DOLOROSA ~
You have here 12 songs plus 4 bonus tracks. Full band. Over an hour. (And that’s not counting the 4 bonus tracks.) Definitely an “Autumn record.” Dolorosa is a “big” record for me. I think it’s album number 57. (Honest.)
The SongStoryMusicMeaningReality is an absolute obsession for me.
“She”(the album) is reflective, melancholic, but sober, sturdy & strong. An Autumnal venture, to be sure.
The album is over an hour long.
Lots to listen to and think about. A lot to digest, folks.
I know we live in an attention challenged culture. But, I’ve got some brilliant fans who still listen to music as if it mattered.
I am always been deeply appreciative of your attentive ear to the music & lyrics.
I won’t let you down. Promise.
Maybe it’s my way of saying “Kilroy was here.” Painted on a crumbling vacant church’s steeple.
Good luck.

“As simple as it sounds, it’s still true: You get comfortable being who you are…and you make peace with who you aren’t.” ~ bill mallonee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This album draws it’s bearings & inspirations in equal parts from 2 points of reference. One is the vernacular meaning of the word “dolorosa” & the other is from the Via Dolorosa.
1. do·lo·ro·so [ˌdɒləˈrəʊsəʊ]
adv. & adj. Music
~ In a mournful or plaintive manner. Used chiefly as a direction.
~ Music performed in a sorrowful manner
[Italian: dolorous]

2.The Via Dolorosa (Latin,”Way of Grief”, “Way of Sorrows”, “Way of Suffering” or simply “Painful Way”) is a street, in two parts, within the Old City of Jerusalem, held to be the path that Jesus walked, carrying his cross, on the way to his crucifixion.

“They say in heaven you’ll get your real name carved into a precious stone
Drifting through all these cities of ruin on your way back home…”
~ from “Cities of Ruin” by Bill Mallonee

1. “The Neck Was Worn Clean”
First thing I noticed was her “finish.” It was worn clean off the neck, non-existent in most places. An indicator of a well-played & well-loved guitar. The wearing was even up and down the neck. Rhythm playing & more solo oriented gestures given equal weight. Again, a sign of a well-versed player. The fella who sold it to me said his father owned it and played the guitar quite well. Thus, a great “find” became an even greater honor.
The year? 1947. A Gibson ES-125. It originally belonged to Mr. Shepherd who started the world famous Chick Piano in Athens, Ga. back in the day. His son, Van, was kind enough to sell it to me a few months back. It has been a treasure of inspiration.
I used it all over “Dolorosa.”

(Yes, I leaned heavily on my beloved George Harrison Rickenbaker, as well. They were good friends, the Gibson ES-125 & the Ric. But the germination of all the songs started on the Gibson ES.
I let the strings go dull, “thuddy,” dusty & heavy.
The sound & feel tapped into, well…a spirit that carried the day here…
You’ll “see.”)

2. “And Our Hearts Nodded”
You write a different song at 50 than you do at 25. I like to think you write a better one. When the illusions & lame promises of rock & roll wear off one starts the untidy (often sad) ritual of unpacking one’s own baggage and seeing if you really have anything to say.
And if you’re lucky?
Well, you’re likely to find that the prophets & troubadours of old and the wizened voices of the past had most of it right all along. All those “voices” that have always linger around the periphery of your spirit for a long time. Not hip, per se. Not “current.”
Just “true.”
It’s a “voice,” often collective and unified. with those old prophets and troubadours. Their words, their “prayers, their way of delivering. their “take” on things.
It’s one helluva chorus to give ear to.
One best heed.

It does beg a question:
How did those prophets, poets and troubadours “know?”
How did they give nomenclature to the truths that cascade in rivers with us?
How were they able to enshrine those same truths we so often close our ears to. Pain, suffering deprivation, mortality.
Why were they able to listen to the voices on the highways within and those on the highways they trod?
Here’s the kicker: They did it without propaganda and manipulation. They did it without "Elmer Gantry-ing" it.
They just said what needed to be said…and our hearts nodded.

That’s some of the feel and spirit, I’ve always struggled to make plain in my work. It’s what I’m drawn to into works of others.
And it feels like it’s born health fruit here on “Dolorosa.”

3. “Sad Songs Keep The Devil Away” ~ Jay Farrar
I do have a feeling that dogs me. And it probably dictated the path the songs here on Dolorosa took and on the last few albums.
I wrote them as they “showed up,” and as the lyrics pushed to the surface. I edited very little.
Songwriting has something akin to absolution & (perhaps) exorcism to it. At the very least, one is engaged in endeavor od “naming” something heretofore intangible, buried, unknown. Nomenclature.
At it’s best that’s the reason I do it and have done so for 22 years.
Call it an effort to keep the demons at arm’s length and not run to the liquor cabinet so much.
You look at your life. You inventory the things done & things left undone.

4. “The Astronomy of Spirit.”
And then you look up at the expanse of stars. The quiet of the high deserts in New Mexico drives it all home.
Does anyone watch over us?
Does it listen to our cries? Does it respond?
And if you should answer “Yes,” then is it Something/Someone deeply “personal?”
God, I hope so.
I have always so desperately wanted it to be so.

It depresses me that things aren’t as obvious as i’d like them to be.
Like “what’s next?”
In my life, too many people have “left the party too soon.”
I wish they’d check in once in a spell; just to say how they’re doing; tell me how it is there.
It doesn’t seem like a lot to ask.

Me? I’m glad for those for whom “religious questions” are resolved with facile-ness & proof-text ease. There are those who toss out well-meaning answers with a smugness that lacks compassion.
A quote attributed to St. Francis says that “the loudest Gospel you’ll ever preach is the one you preach with your life.“
Implied in that brilliant quote (it seems) is that perceptions about “life” are also the variables that Faith/non-faith work with.
For me faith and doubt have always slept in the same bed for as long as I can remember.

5. “Signs of The Cross & Flirting With Absurdity”
There is so much about Life & Love, Passion & Mystery that says: “Wait: There’s more. No, it’s not up for grabs.”
One of my heroes, Martin Luther, was in some ways was the first “modern man,” (see Eric Erikson’s “Young Man Luther); Luther was always staring down the devil; that ‘entity” that meant him nothing but harm & confusion.
And the tool Luther knew the devil used most effectively against us was that of guilt & despair.

Sure, artists “flirt” with such states of the heart. Often, they flirt & anesthetize themselves at the same time.
And it’s good to get beneath the skin of what our brothers & sisters feel when the world seems a meaningless and a cold void, absent of God. One can’t live “with” or “in” the darkness forever.

And (by God) when you yourself finally sense the weight of such futility & sadness you realize that it’s nothing to dally with either.
You “counter,” you pray, you wrestle & cling to whatever Light & Love & Compassion you can find.

In my experience that Beacon sometimes even shows his Face.
Albums can be Light, Love & Compassion.
Religion…with a 6-string drag.
A debtor to Grace....and more Grace...and...
“Sad songs keep the devil away.”

Dolorosa.

6. “That Same Ancient Disease”
It’s “Faith & Courage that gets ya’ through.” ~ “‘Til I Knew It All By Heart.”
And as to Fear, whether it’s driven by “bad religion” or some deep personal anguish?
Courage again. You do what you can to cast It aside.
Fear and Distrust: Are we not all afflicted with that same ancient disease?
Celebrate your “you-ness,” friends. Celebrate it WITH friends.
Are we not all included in the same Grace & whole-ness a suffering God is waiting to bestow?

The harder edges & vicissitudes of life have led me here.
25 years ago, I arrived as a young, hungry songwriter.
I left as a blessed man.
Somehow it all forces you to your knees, literally and figuratively.
You learn to pray without ceasing.
You learn to walk a way of being thankful.
You learn to "fight the good fight." To stay at your post.
And you start, (however stumbling) to practice Compassion and extend Mercy to all you fellow travelers.
(The poets, prophets and troubadours concur.)

Grace & Mercy & Peace.
The last word.
I’ll bet on those three…forever.

Pax Christi,
bill mallonee
Fall/Winter 2013

“DOLOROSA”
released 12 November 2013
Bill Mallonee: Electric & acoustic guitars, vocals, bass, drums, harp, organ
Muriah Rose: Piano, organ, electric piano, string arrangements

credits

released November 12, 2013

Bill Mallonee: Electric & acoustic guitars, vocals, bass, drums, harp, organ
Muriah Rose: Piano, organ, elecric piano, string arrangements

"Dolorosa" was painstakingly mastered by: Bruce Neher at Disc & Dat, Monument, CO. Cheers, Mr. Neher!

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is an Americana artist w/ 80 plus albums over a 30 year career. Voted by Paste Music Magazine #65 in their "Top 100 Living Songwriters" poll. He was the
founding member of Vigilantes of Love. He has worked with Mark Heard, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, & Peter Buck from REM.
His most recent work, "Lead On, Kindly Light" is a 23song double Cd released Feb 2020.
... more

contact / help

Contact Bill Mallonee

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like DOLOROSA (Fall & Winter 2013), you may also like: